One of the greatest feelings about being a parent is in knowing that your teens can talk to you about their feelings and everything else that’s going on in their world. Establishing this great relationship with your teen requires good Communication.
It is an ongoing process that takes a lot of patience and understanding on your part as a parent. Once you have established an open line of communication with your teen, it will be easier to deal with any other kinds of issues that could show up.
Your teens are going through a period in their life where they feel a strong need for becoming an independent person and working on creating a separate identity. They usually express these needs by acting distant, defiant, disinterested, emotional, and rebellious.
These are the times where you have to remember to be very understanding. Although they may appear to be indifferent and uninterested, they are actually very perceptive of your reactions, what you do, and what you say. And they certainly want to be able to talk with you about what’s going on in their life.
With that in mind, here are some of the things that you should look out for when talking to your teen.
1. Stop nagging. It never works! You will never get your teen to listen to you by nagging. Doing this just closes the door to any attempt of communicating with them.
2. Do not always try to solve your child's problems. A lot of times, all they really want is for you to listen to them and let them know that you are there to help. Often, just by letting them talk to you about their problems is enough to give them comfort. And not offering any answer gives them a chance to figure out the solutions for themselves.
3. Do not criticize. You’re supposed to build up their self esteem, not tear it down. Letting your teens have control in areas like the clothes thy wear, the music they listen to, or their hairstyle gives them a feeling of acceptance and the assurance that they can talk to you with more complicated matters in their lives.
4. Do not give a lecture or a speech. You need to give your teen a chance to respond and talk to you.
5. Do not underestimate them by saying that what they are going through is just a phase. You have to be able to acknowledge that they have a problem and it is a big deal to them.
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